Pastor Cheryl O'Neal

Strong evidence supports the statistics that adults who were subject to either sexual or physical abuse during childhood are more likely will develop an addiction to drugs, alcohol and may become an abuser themselves.   In our neighborhoods, churches, schools, daycare facilities, on the job and homes we must awaken to the truth of sexual, emotional, mental, relational abuse from childhood to adults.  This is where the rubber meets the road - broad road of abuse in our country.

Perpetrator:  a person or persons who carries out a damaging, irresponsible, demoralizing, illegal act.                        (Webster Dictionary)

Someone "determined" to cause or knowingly or willingly allowed the maltreatment of a child.  Defining perpetrators who suffered child abuse and neglect is very difficult especially once they're becoming parents and other caregivers (such as relatives, babysitters, and foster parents) who have harmed a child in their care. 

 Particularly, abuse survivors are silent about the abuse until they are in an safe environment. The burden of trauma carried from the child into adulthood is measurable only up to a point.  Variations of damaging symptoms that can lead to destructive outcomes follow the violated individual(s):

• Sexually abused children are 5 times more likely to be:  Suicidal, drug addicted, alcoholic, incarcerated, ADHD, co-dependant, socially awkward with mental dysfunctions or physical health problem (obesity, high blood pressure, kidney/liver disease, etc.). Abused people are challenged with depression, anxiety, low-self esteem and other characters defects interrupting their dayto-day interactions.

• Those who survive child sexual abuse are at higher risk overall in the areas of learning: Socially, emotional, behavioral, physical and mental. Depriving one's self of those essential needs embedded in the threads of society.  (ie: Education, Work and/or Family)

• Abuse is a gatekeeper to a higher probability of drug usage. In most cases, between abused and "normal" children, abused children double the rate of those who have not experienced abuse to become addicted to a substance or incarceration.  Some say, "Every 2 out of 5 addicts are due to experiencing some form of childhood abuse."

• Children suffering from a history of trauma or abuse have difficulty connecting to others.  Building relationships are built on trust and abused people malfunction regarding a trusting spirit.  They have been robbed of the protection most of us take for granted. They open themselves up for behaviors to risky for most. They suffer in silence with blinded by rejection, despair, self-loathing, depression and many other debilitating symptoms.

• Victims of child abuse can express emotions with a higher level of aggression.  Raging over the small things are more frequent then normal individuals can comprehend  They are easily triggered and prone to outrageous outbreaks.  Highly sensitive to mood swings and often capable of irractional thought(s).

How do we recognize when a child or person is being abused?  There are some signs that are apparent to the naked eye and others that aren't visible.  As a friend, we are to train ourselves to be available to help at any moment in time.  What matters the most?  Willingness.  Information is power to the one who absorbs the richness.  Watch for the signs:

>  They're open to being disrepected in public

>  They're highly sensitive to angering their partners.

>  They quickly excuse the behavior of their partners.

>  They excuse their partners jealous outbursts in public.

>  They hide marks with makeup or injuries with created excuses.

>  They isolate from friends and family members on demand from their partner.

>  They display a completely different demeanor around social circles.

Offer to go with her to the agency, the police, or court. The National Domestic Violence Hotline(link is external), 800-799-SAFE (7233); the National Sexual Assault Hotline(link is external), 800-656-HOPE (4673); and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline(link is external), 866-331-9474, are all available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.